Last night, I was trying to reminisce one of my favorite movies of all time, Clueless. Yes, for a girl like me, I just love girly stuff, and Alicia Silvertone being eternally young, and beautiful in that movie, makes me want to live forever. Or be forever young ( oh have I such obsession for youth and eternity! )

I remember Cher ( Silvertone ) having a protege named Tai ( may you rest in peace, gorgeous Brittany Murphy ) that she transformed from an unnoticed outcast into the life in the party - the ultimate “it” girl. I could not forget Cher scream, ” I’ve created a monster!” in her cutest voice. Well.

Sometimes in life, we get to achieve good things. Good things coming our way are great, as we promise ourselves not to let these good things happening get into our heads. But sometimes, along the way, it just happens. It creeps under our skin that we hardly notice it, and before we know it, we have come to be the person we detest - the person whom we’ve promised not to be like. Sometimes, upon awareness, we can go back to our own ways, but sometimes, it’s too late. Too much air has creeped into our insides that it’s impossible to deflate anymore. With that, to survive is to get more air.
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They say that this feeling is highly overrated, and I say I used to think it was.
I’ve underestimated this state, and now that I’m in it, the euphoria just keeps pouring in.
Beams, and beams of sunlight pass through my entity, as if I’m not even there.
It’s not tangible, but I feel it.
Faith earned a word from me with you.
You are the living proof sent to me by the Gods that such emotions exist.
A miracle.
The loveliest surprise that makes me love my life just a little more.

I don’t believe I remember who I was before.

As ice thawed from my being, I think it also melted off my memories.

Droplets of frustration, heartbreak, and cynicism are oceans away from my heart.

Right now, all I see is an endless sky of blue and yellow. Read the rest of this entry »

Your farce gets betrayed by the flicker in your eyes.

A product of a sudden outburst, forgive me.

This week was full of contemplation for me, as I my head is swarmed with thoughts, and my heart is in a storm of confusion.

It gets dizzy.

I share with you my favorite quote from my favorite classic movie of all time, My Bestfriend’s Wedding.

“When you love someone, you say it. Or else, the moment just passes you by.”

I understand how wounds take time to heal. How fears are slow to subside. Everybody gets hurt. No one ever told me, or probably no one will say this, that getting hurt was a wonderful experience. All in all, it sucks. But then, what if wallowing in it causes you to go blind and just let another chance for a new beginning walk right past you?
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It’s the time of the year again when I am most happy. The seas are calling me. I always, always embrace the season that defines who I am with utmost joy, because it is all about endless sunshine and comforting solace.

Desolation need not visit me in my dreams. I dream walking in an endless stretch of sand and quiet. The rays of the sun caress my skin with warmth that makes me surrender and sigh. I love my summer. The turquoise waters seek to cool off my worries, while the fine sand gently scrapes off my heartbreaks. I am cleansed. I am new.
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Just as I was about to drown in the abyss of desolation,

You found me.

I know, I know, that for the longest time, I have been struggling alone, and depending on no one but myself.

But then, in the most unexpected circumstance, you suddenly tell me that I can rest my head on your shoulder.

I admit defeat. I need saving. And you just did.